Note to Self

the year of you.

this new day.  a day that’s made for wishing, wishes that are big & bold & beyond your wildest imagination.  a day that’s made for dreaming with eyes wide open.  

this new year.  this brand new year that’s begging you to make it all that you want it to be.  to make it your best year yet.  to make it the year of you.  

{for kisskatie.  happy birthday!}

the survivor.

you will survive.  the hurt, the pain, the constant what-ifs.  one day, it will all be no longer.  because just as easily as it found its way into your life, it will find its way out.  quietly, slowly, unceremoniously.  but surely.  that I know for certain.

and you’ll wonder how or why this tiny little road bump seemed so big.  because it might be bigger than big right now, but you’ll hop on over it.  you’ll jump or run or skip or even stumble through.  but somehow, you will make it to the other side.  you will survive it.  all of it.  and the next time you look back, this seemingly insurmountable thing will be miles away.  and you, my dear, you will be soaring.

{for kari-shma}

that person who isn’t noticing you

isn’t worth your time.  that person just doesn’t get it.

you are anything but invisible.  you are utterly captivating, spectacularly rare.  you are impossible to ignore. 

and for every person who looks right through you, there is someone who sees the real you.  

for every person who just doesn’t get it, there are a bunch who actually do.

and believe me, the ones who listen, the ones who care, the ones who see you for all that you are.  those are the ones who matter.  those are the ones you want. 

so give them a chance.  you never know what might happen when you finally notice the person who’s been noticing you.

{for anon.}

forgive.

your nemesis.  your friend.  yourself.

{for anon.}

there is only one you.

only one.  there has never been another you.  and there never will be another you.  so in case you’re wondering who you should be…be you.

{for the same person to whom I dedicated monday’s note. this one’s for you, too.}

a myriad of possibilities.

sometimes it’s hard to sort through all the options.  this or that.  here or there.  him or him or him.  what once was a myriad of exciting possibilities is now a quagmire of choice. 

but here’s the thing.  you already know what you want to do.  you do.  the key to making a choice is listening to what you know deep down is right, what you know will make you happy, what will put you at ease.  because the people you love—the people you so desperately want to please—they just want you to be happy.  in the end, that’s really all they want.

so quit trying to be everything to everyone, and just do your thing. and remember, if you make a mistake, you can always fix it.  if you change your mind, you can always switch it back again.  nothing is etched in stone.

{p.s. to the person who requested this note, I know exactly how you feel!!}

a love like none other.

your family might not be perfect.  nobody’s is.  but your family loves you.  no matter what. 

your mom & dad & brothers & sisters & grandparents & anyone else who might not share your genes, but who shares your heart, these are the people who love you more than you can imagine. 

these are the people to whom you will be linked forever.  linked by a love without limits or conditions.  a love like none other.

{for the anon. reader whose family is going through a difficult time right now.  hang in there!}

do you want to know what you are?

you are beautiful.  you are loved.  you are strong.  you are confident.  you are imperfectly perfect. 

you are all the things that you hope to be and all the things you have yet to realize. 

you are just right, just as you are meant to be, just the way you are.     

somewhere. someone. some day.

somewhere out there is someone whose hand fits perfectly in yours.  whose voice and breath and arms wrapped around you feel just like home.

wait for that someone.  believe in that someone.  because that someone is out there.  somewhere.

{for wrotemealoveletter}

{photo credit unknown.}

the courage to say what you mean.

sometimes someone asks what you think.  and you know what you want to say.  you know what you think, what you really think.  but somehow those thoughts don’t make their way to the surface.  and so you keep them to yourself and stick to the words that won’t rock the boat.  those safe little words that don’t pose a threat or a challenge.  the words that won’t mean anything or do anything.  the ones that fly out of your mouth & float straight up to the sky, weightless.  vanishing into nothing, as if you didn’t say anything at all. 

but sometimes someone asks what you think, and you really care.  and you understand that this person needs to know.  and so you say it.  because it matters too much.  and because the days & the months & the years are too short to leave anything unsaid. 

{for anon. & his/her unvoiced opinion, for the boy who is brave enough to bare his heart, and for S & D, who are never afraid to tell me what they really think.}

you know what you want.

you do.  you know what kind of life you dream of building.  you know what kind of world you want to create.  you know what you want to do.  you know where you want to go.  you know who you want by your side along the way.  you know.  even when you’re feeling overwhelmed by the endless possibilities, you know what you want.  and now there’s only one thing left to do.  go get it! 

{for anon.} 
       {{ and also for me!  a special thanks to whoever asked me to write about this.  you’ve inspired me! }}

on labels.

you’re “the genius.”  “the jock.”  “the rebel.”  “the class clown.”  or at least that’s what they say you are.

a label is exactly that.  a sticker with a word on it.  a flimsy little thing with very little substance.  an otherwise ordinary piece of paper rendered significant by its mere ability to adhere.  a pesky little thing that might stick for a little bit, but whose trademark stickiness fades over time. 

and no matter how long since it first stuck, a label is something that you always have to power to peel off, to discard, to prove wrong.

because underneath the label — that paper-thin layer of caricature — is a person with countless facets.  like a diamond that shines in multiple directions.  so much more than any one thing. 

{for the anonymous “smart girl,” a name I’ve always actually loved being called. nerdy girls become brainy bombshells.  don’t forget it!}

kindred spirits.

sometimes an inseparable pair splits in two.  once a single unit, now two individuals.  and you wonder how or why or what you will do without your other half.

but here’s the thing.  the strongest of strong pairs, the most meaningful and mighty, those are the ones that thrive on independence, that find strength in individuality.  and when you come back together, one day soon or far away, in whatever shape it will take, you will be closer than ever. 

because the bonds that don’t break are the ones that are elastic.  the unbreakables are the ones that stretch & move & trust in the bounce-back. 

because kindred spirits, true kindred spirits, are forever.  no matter the distance, no matter the change, no matter the circumstance, your kindred spirit leaves a handprint on your heart.  with you always & everywhere.

{for anon.}

go ahead, make your move.

whatever it is that you want.  a job.  a kiss.  a dream come true.  you always have the power to make the first move.  sure, it’s scary to put yourself out there, without knowing how it will all work out.  

but some moments, some people, some things are just too precious to leave in the hands of time, too important to wait & wait & wait & see if it will happen.  sometimes, you have to make it happen.  you close your eyes & hold your breath & find the courage, somewhere inside you, to take a leap.  

{for anon.}

take care of yourself.

someone needs you.  and I love you.

{for M}